New to DB~~seeking insight

[littleGTO]

HI, Kiki,
I'm sorry you are here, but this is a great support place so welcome.

YOu are right not to trust your H right now. BUt, as much as you want to it will only hurt YOU if you snoop.

It is good you are going to MC if H is in it to work on your M. But if he is just going for your sake, it won't make a difference.

EA's are just are dangerous (if not more so) to a M than PA's. You are right to question his "Friendships" w coworkers, esp w a new cell phone & "losing" his wedding ring. I don't buy it given what you've said.

You said you know you have things to work on. Start w that. H will notice these over time if you consistency make these changes for YOU (not for H).

Sorry to hear about the loss of your twin boys. I can't imagine the devastation you went through (and probably still do). You suggested that maybe H hasn't dealth w their losses. Has he ever considered IC?

It is only a natural progression in a R for couple to lose sight of their "couplehood" when children come along. Unfortunately what seems comfortable and okay for one S may not be meeting the other's needs. (I feel my R had the same loss of couplehood.)

Have you read 5 Love Languages? It speaks to the way you liked to be loved and the way your spouse likes to be loved. Very insightful! You may find it helpful in your sitch.

Hang in there, this is a looong journey.