Soul.Searching my way back.

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks everyone. I have read all your posts several times today. I've missed you AS, I haven't seen you around much lately. Well before anyway. I haven't been reading many threads lately. I haven't been in a good place and reading other people's threads, I can feel their pain too and it can be almost unbearable ATM.
You have some great advice AS, I'd love an update on your sitch.

CV, you have given me a few wake up calls. I think I'm going to have to keep reading them, until they sink in.

The kids haven't seemed too interested in talking to me lately, they are too busy playing with her kids. It's hard not to take it personally, especially when H is telling me D9 wants to stay longer than Sunday. A week is huge to me but yet she wants more. It's all fun and games with Dad right now.
His babysitting her kids today while she is at work.
H is broke, so she must be feeding them!

We spent six days in the bush by the river and I made them put sunscreen on, several times a day. They spend one day at the beach with H and they are both sunburnt. That makes me angry! With the knowledge of the damage the sun can do, he needs to wake up! Especially convidering I think it was only my two who got burnt.


I think the hardest part is I know how sweet and caring, calm and collected H can be, I think that's why I stayed so long. I'm sure that is what she is getting right now. How can he not be angry etc, with her but yet couldn't control it with me?

He is talking about wanting to be friends and blah,

Is it bad of me to have no intension of being friends with OW? That's what he wants but I don't see it happening.

He is taking my kids camping in a few weeks, I'm sure he will ask me to borrow our camping gear. If he takes it, I don't want it back! That was our family's camping stuff, if he takes it and uses it with OW and her kids, then I don't want it!!
Is that bad of me? Is that just being childish and bitter?