Nonetheless - it doesn't help YOU when you stoop to his level.
Now - you said you consulted an attorney and he said you wouldn't get alimony? Is that because of your state laws, or because you make as much money as your H?
How much is the debt? Is it such a huge number that bankruptcy is the only way out, or could it be paid off with a concerted household effort a la Dave Ramsey style intensity?
Is anyone else aware of his affair, or would it be a surprise to the kids, family, etc?
Six years is a long time to live with a cheating spouse. I imagine that if you had the means to be financially self sufficient, you wouldn't still be putting up with this? So maybe, for now, just put the focus on your finances - assume that he will be gone soon (he may or may not be, but just make the assumption for now) and face whatever it is you need to face to get your financial situation squared away. Can you get a raise, a better paying job, cut household expenses so that you can start paying off the debt? Are there any marital assets? Imagine if H died tomorrow without life insurance, what would you do - then start doing THAT.
