So sorry you find yourself here. You and your h are having the wrong conversation. Of course he says nothing is going on and what he's doing is fine. But where are your boundaries? You're realizing that your marriage is in danger because YOU are not happy in it. Your H sounds like he is emotionally investing himself outside the marriage, as mine did for many years with casual friendships that were "nothing." Fact is, what he's bringing to the marriage now is not OK with you. I hope that the coaching gives you some good ideas. Your H may have to realize that he could lose you before he starts to wake up to what he's doing.
In my marriage I tolerated a lot that I could rationalize as ok about my H's behavior, but I ignored the fact that I was deeply increasingly neglected and unhappy. I asked for counseling a few times but H said we didn't need it and he refused to consider it. I wish I had gone on my own, but it might have just ended my marriage earlier.
I wish you luck, adinva
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
