I do disappear without telling him sometimes,so I'm not always available I went to another city nye and stayed a couple of nights, haven't heard from him for a few days,don't know if he stopped when I was gone or not. It was relaxing not being home and wondering when or if he was stopping by.
Why don't you always do it? Every time you catch yourself waiting for him, go out and do something you like. There is so much to do when you set your mind at it - gymnastics, pilates, hiking, pottery, book clubs, tennis, cooking class,skydiving - anything. Repaint your bedroom. Plant stuff around the garden.
When he shows up, either be gone or be busy. Don't just wait for him with breakfast... He is taking you for granted. Next time shows up, be busy doing something and rather than cater him, tell him "I don't have time for you right now. I am busy moving the grand piano closer to the window" or whatever. Maybe he will offer to help. If not, leave him standing there and when you are done, tell him "Now you need to leave. I have to go shopping". Be polite and positive, but don't talk to him. Don't act as if his arrivals are the highlights of your day.
