Newly Separated and trying to save marriage

[Dewayne]

First off, lets list some things that we're doing as we DB.

1st one is the most important. DEPRESSURIZE! It doesnt' mention this in DR.. but it does say many times that "if you do xxx you will pressure them"

Pressuring:
1. Professing love. Stop it! They know how much you love them.
2. Asking for assurances "well do you think we can date later and try to reconnect?" Don't do this either. More pressure.
3. But what about all these times? We had fun here, here look at these pictures.... No! bad boy! NO! Again, pressure.
4. Always calling n texting. Pressure to speak to you when they don't want to. Get use to your love not wanting to see or talk to you.

Second: Attractiveness. The more you show neediness etc, the less attractive you are. What happened to that strong man she saw in you? bring him back out!

1. Do not beg or plea for them to come back.
2. Do not keep asking how long they think they'll need..
3. Do not ask them on a date. (in DR on this subject, read it)
4. Do not ask their whereabouts. Pressure and Needieness. Double killer.
5. Do not mope around. It's unattractive.

GAL: Getting a life is more attractive than most realize. It's not showing them "hey I'm doing sh1t" .. when you GAL... you "glow" You put off this aura of "I'm doing ok" People don't want to be with a mopy, no life sucker. GAL makes you overall happier and in the meantime of doing so, you take care of yourself and you put off this better vibe. When you go hang out with friends, sometimes we gt attracted to the one that doesn't seem to be having a good time. We want to approach them and see if we can help, talk to them. Comfort them etc. Sometimes you can hit it off that way. BUT! MOST OF THE TIME we want the ones having a better time. The ones who are more "lively"... be lively. Chances are better.

Respond to txts and emails sporradicly. Like, 2 replies should be delayed, then one that's immediate. Shows you're not hung up on them and also makes them wonder "well whats he doing, why didn't he answer?" The more "hung up" you show them you are, the more unattractive you are, they may not "think" that, but subconciously they are thinknig / feeling it. Not only do you have to battle the WS's concious mind, you must think about the subconcious as well. What's the natural response to xxx? If it's bad, don't do it. Do something else.

Good luck.