Planned on having the D talk yesterday but W decided to have a fun day and drink a few beers. I was interested in the football games so I just decided to move it to today. We're supposed to get massages this afternoon so I figured we could go have some alone time after and discuss. I thought the text conversation was pretty telling so I thought I would share some of it.
Me: I need a little time with you today. Maybe after massages we can get a beer.
W: What's up? You miss me or what?
Me: Always
W: It freaks me out when you are cryptic with your msgs. What's up?
Me: Relax, nothing to freak out about. Just want some time on the calendar and I'm super busy today.
W: I've spent my whole life being afraid of you, trying to make you happy and you've been miserable. Almost entirely. I still live daily with that fear and I hate it.
Me: I hope you can let that go someday. My happiness (or unhappiness) isn't dependent on you. You are not responsible for it. Sure, sometimes I love your choices and sometimes I don't, but I think that's separate from happiness in general.
That's some pretty serious honesty on her part. I know it's true, but I think it took some strength for her to say it. She admitted vulnerability, past and present. That says a lot about her own growth (Regret, that's the inner strength I am talking about in your threads).
I feel a little guilty because I do want to talk about a serious topic, but I didn't want her stressing about it all day. I wonder if she even realizes the date is out there at this point. Will report back after the talk to let everyone know how it goes.
