In June we told the kids we were getting divorced and that hurt. I felt like a failure. I told my wife lets just work on our freindship and see how it goes. She agreed.
Then you agreed to divorce and informed the kids...
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I finally had enough and told her if she did't start looking for another job(OM was a coworker) that it was over. Her response was basically why does it matter aren't we getting divorced shortly??? I thought things were going great and hoping she would see we could make this work but she told me she still felt the same way she did earlier in the year ILYBNILWY ... I was devestated.
This is the part I don't understand. You had already kicked your W out, you already announced the divorce to the family, you already sold your house in preparation for the divorce, but now you decided to give your wife an ultimatum about quitting her job or "it's over"? What's over? You already agreed on divorce and sound pretty far down that road.
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So I came back and asked her to leave.
Then you kicked her out again...
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We decided a fair split of our possetions and decided to share a lawyer to proceed witrh the divorce. Since I konw all the financials I was the persn in charge of that. So on the 2Oth the attorney filied the first part of the divorce proceedings.
Worked out more details on the divorce with you leading the process...
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I am having trouble separating myself from her. Especially since we share the kids. But also because I'm afraid to let go........I still love her and just want her to come out of the fog. Do I give up now or keep fighting? and how?
Yet you say you still love her and want her to "come out of the fog"? YOU are the one that's been driving the separation and divorce, why are you doing that if you want to stay with her? What do you mean by "Do I give up now or keep fighting?" It sounds to me like you gave up a long time ago and have done nothing to fight for the marriage. I've read a lot of threads here, but yours is the most confusing I've seen. You must first decide whether or not you want to save the M, then you have to take appropriate action.
If you want to save the M, everything you've done to this point has been the opposite of what you should be doing. Read DR and develop your DB'ing plan.
