I spent it with S and the boys. They got me an iPad. Very cool. This new chapter of my life has been so enriched and fulfilling I can't help but reflect on the prior decade and how lost I was for most of it.
It is like I finally have awakened. I see clearly how lost I was and how unhealthy my choices were.
How my crisis started with my first divorce and how that sent me into a ten year process of denial and avoidance.
It was very destructive financially, health wise, spiritually and emotionally.
Does this sound familiar?
It was the reason I came here trying to save my second marriage that was the product of my crisis.
I went back and read through the stages of crisis and can now recognize myself as I went through them. Never was I aware of it during.
I have spent the last year with such regret and shame for my choices it really kept me from moving forward for a while.
ACCEPTANCE
I know several of you who know me well probably saw this as you learned the details of my life but you know you can't tell someone this.
It is lucky I suppose that the only consequence or victim was a failed M to another person in crisis who I pray can find her way quicker than I did.
No children involved. I was really the biggest victim and for that I have to forgive myself.
I would like to explore this and share... As I now see... How lost I was during. And there seems to be complete holes in my life that I have very little memory of.
It may be time for a new thread.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
