improvements w H but still no closeness. Now what?

[2chiquitos]

Hi Bestgal. I'm only catching up on your last few posts so here goes...

Your argument is very normal. We all argue in our relationships but what happens after, when all the dust has settled is what matters the most. What did you used to do before BD after an argument? How are you changing that old pattern?

Remember MWD writes that we continue to argue about the SAME topics throughout our marriage. So you will have this argument again but what will be different? How can YOU improve this argument? Not where he will agree with you but can you do to help understand each other better. A good argument will bring you closer!

I noticed you give each other space after this argument and don't discuss the topic at all after. Is this the usual pattern for your arguments? If so, what can you do different? What did he say that you are willing to accept/admit?

About venting, careful with the friends you vent to. In my case, they held a lot of resentment towards H and now that I am forgiving H, I struggle with many of my friendships.

About the anger, find positive ways to release your anger. Drawing, exercising, gardening, meditating, yoga, etc. They can also be your GALs ;-)

About your ego. Remember not to take his reactions personal. His reactions are reflective of HIM, not YOU!!