If a car accident happened and your H was in a coma, would you be asking what you did to deserve the pain and sadness? (Maybe in an abstract way, but not in a real sense that it was some kind of punishment for something you did.)
Just the same, this sitch is NOT your fault. Even if you drove him to cheat and leave you he had free will and made all his own decisions. Even if you had habits that annoyed him or left some of his needs unmet, it was his choice to address them effectively or to run away, his decision how to make change in his life.
This probably doesn't make any of it any easier to deal with, except hopefully that you torture yourself less with the idea that somehow maybe you deserved this. You did not. You deserve much better.
How awful that H continues to find ways to reduce his daughters to tears. I'm so sorry for them. They're going to be looking to you for how to deal with a tough break in life. Later they're going to be looking to you for how to love a man in spite of this, and how to work on things with him when they get hard, and how to pick themselves back up and go on if he disappoints them. You've got to do it for them.
Sending hugs and strength your way. (((((SB)))))
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
