You are right that nothing is likely to change until one of you makes a move or does something. This has gone on with no movement on her end long enough that no one could blame you for tiring of waiting for her, but that note sounds a little extreme to me. Did you express your reservations to your coach about sending it?

I definitely would not say anything about the gifts.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl