Don't worry about reaching out. My w's LL is also WOA, I can tell you I was a complete failure at this during our marriage, so for me it also feels like pursuing. There will be moments to speak WOA, just look for those and don't over do it. Based on advice Sandi gave me once it would seem that both you and your w's emotions are pretty raw right now. Be patient and wait for your moments. She may think it is a tactic for awhile, after some consistency it will become part of you.
Think more in the terms of emotion bank rather than love bank. Worry about filling her with positive emotions. Hopefully down the road you can work on the love bank.
Heck, I have been at this for awhile and have not seen much progress. I tried backing way off and being more business like and all that did was bring my w back to being very cold towards me. I also wasn't happy myself doing it. I guess I am not quite ready to completely let go.
With that being said I am happier than I have been in awhile. It has been 8 months and I am just starting to find myself again, not saying it will take you that long. Just keep at it, keep striving for your own happiness. Our w's may find theirs or they may not, but that is not our problem right now. My w said to me a long time ago that she needs to be happy on her own before me or anyone else can enhance that happiness. She might have been blowing smoke, or maybe not. I say that because it is true for me. I need to be happy on my own before I can even think about bringing happiness to anyone else. One thing is forsure, the first ones that will benefit from my happiness will be my children.
It is amazing how Sunday service can pick you up. Going to church is actually a 180 for me, although I didn't realize it until after I started going. I have enjoyed every Sunday, and felt so much better exploring my faith. It is a good place to start.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
