Andrew, I'm thinking about you. This will be a trying time for everyone in the family. You already know that...
I agree with busting that time away will "let the dust settle."
Interesting how you don't remember some of the stuff you said/did. But no sense in looking back. Now you know what to do to avoid these types of events in the future.
You're a good guy with a kind heart. Remember everyone makes mistakes, so forgive yourself. ((((((((((((()))))))))))