That's the weirdest thing is that he has not said the word divorce to me at all. But I haven't been really taking this as a good sign, his relationship with his daughters is so tenuous now that I think he just doesn't want to hurt them. I told him really early, within a month of him leaving, that I met with a lawyer just to get info. He didn't ask any questions or said he was going to also.
He chats on a website that I monitor because his password is still auto saved in my computer (idiot! he changed the passwords to all of his accounts but this one) and there was another poster recently that said he was hoping to have his divorce finalized by the new year, and my H said he'll be starting his soon... but then a week later he counseled another poster about his marital problems with really good advice and said that he wished he'd done it 12 years sooner because now 'he may be getting a divorce soon'. The word 'may' really threw me for a loop.
We are still 'married' on facebook. I had unfriended him after he left but he friend requested me in oct (before our short stint with marriage counseling and before I knew about OW) and he's left it and I've left my status as married - I feel it's almost a dare now. I'm not the one that wants to be unmarried so I'll wait for him to make the first move.
He also wrote on his chat sight that 'he knows his daughters are upset now but they'll come around'. I think that attitude is very cavalier and it upsets me greatly. And he also posted that he's going to NY with a group of friends, didn't say when. I'm wondering if he's going to just leave & come back & never tell his daughters. He also hinted at going to Mexico this spring (we loved mexico!! ) and I can only imagine who he's going with... basically, although he hasn't said the word to me he is living his life for a different future. Not one that includes our family.
And I get very resentful being left with everything. My girls are in so many activities plus college applications etc. It's been a lot to manage. There is a college fsfa meeting this Thursday and I texted his last night if he could come & he said he may be late but would be there. It is my nature to remind him a couple days from now because he usually can't manage himself but I'm not going to. Everything just seems like a test now and it's hard to be loving and PMA when I'm so tense about our relationship!
) and I can only imagine who he's going with... basically, although he hasn't said the word to me he is living his life for a different future. Not one that includes our family.