sam, You need to step back and give her plenty of space and time. She's going to be in crisis for quite some time and there's nothing you can do right now except focus on you, your pets and your life.
I'm not surprised that she was uncomfortable around you...and this is called guilt. She knows what she's doing is morally wrong, and yet, she's not ready to stop the behavior nor seek professional assistance to work on her issues.
It's very common for mlcers to wear the wedding rings, then take them off and go back and forth. Don't read too much into this.
I suspect that your wife has told on herself and that the issue w/the dog getting ill may not have been entirely the other woman's fault. Your wife may have done something and whatever it was, the dog getting sick was done on the other person's watch.
Yes, she will spend lots of money in the months to come...it's called retail therapy and it makes her feel good because she feels she is entitled. Watch any joint accounts that you share.
I do hope that you are okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
