wishing, Seeking answers is absolutely correct...your h is one mad hatter right now and it's all because he didn't get what he wanted. They will use threats to get you to bend to their will. If they sense even a little teeny weeny crack in your self confidence, they will take a crow bar and pry that little crack into a crater just to get their own way. They do not care about you or the children when they are like this. Their standard response is that the children will be okay and bounce back w/o any trouble. That's not the case.
Don't let this mad hatter see you sweat. Do what you need to do in order to survive and continue your lifestyle. Do not contact him again for anything except finances and the children. He's out for himself and no one else right now.
Give him all of the time and space that he needs so that he can choke on it. He needs to be swinging in the wind for a long time. Document everything he says or does that is not appropriate. Keep your journal hidden and in a safe place. You never know when you will need this info at a later date. Be sure to put the date, time, place in the documentation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
