She's protecting herself from the inevitable pain. In that situation the goal is to control as much as you can so you can minimize mistakes for which you might be seen as the cause...and then the hammer comes down.

But you can't fix her, she has to realize that there is something better, that she can be better and then she has to work to get there.

The in-laws have been so good to me though. And this makes it even more difficult because "everyone" probably thinks they are wonderful people so it can be very confusing, and she probably turns all her anger toward them back to her because everyone says they are such wonderful people, how can I be angry at them. It must be me.

But this is hers to fix.

Is she in therapy?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss