Is this MLC or a very unhappy man who's done??

[BeingMe]

Hi Reb. I'm aorry you find yourself on this site, but you will find good support and advice here.

Forget 12 years ago. He's just using that as an excuse for his present behaviour. The issue then was resolved by getting back to the basics of family first, jobs second. My H does the same thing. He forgets that he has done worse in the past and I stuck with him through thick and thin, as I'm sure you did with your H. My H is very similar to yours in his non-communication. It is so irritating when they won't speak and tell you if something is wrong.

You know, M is a road of peaks and valleys. It cannot be sunshine and lollipops all the time. There will be times of grief, but that doesn't mean that one should go outside of the M to find consolation in someone else.

You mention that you started taking care of yourself in 2010, losing 60lbs (good for you, btw). Perhaps that made him feel insecure, leading to his drinking, etc. But, you know, he's a grown man. He could've said something. He made the choice not to. You don't fall in love all over again the one year and the next couldn't care less. I do suspect it could be MLC or depression. It's difficult to say.

My advice, for now, is to give him his space. Your daughters are old enough to carry on their own R with their dad, if they want to. While you can continue on GAL. Every couple of weeks you can contact him and test the waters. Don't discuss your marriage, or beg him to come home, or any negative, pursuing actions. Maybe, just a text or email discussing a family matter, like one of your daughters or financial stuff. Note his response, if any.

Just make sure you are financially secure, and consult a lawyer for your rights. Just in case. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

Good luck, and hope things turn out okay.