Ps the kids do not want to talk to him. I don't have to make them do I?
You can't make them and if it is harmful to them, then they should not be in contact with him.
OTOH, you may not do anything to encourage a R with him, and in doing so you are covertly suggesting that they should not have a R with him.
You do want to talk with them and encourage with them to have the best R with him that they can, that it will be different than the R they had with him in the past.
