Just remember DB isn't all about saving your marriage. You have to save yourself first. And then maybe, just maybe you might get another chance with your wife. If not you will be ready for someone else.
I find the more I detach the easier it gets to maintain my ultimate goal.
I stopped at w's place today to get my son's schoolwork, she opened the door and handed me the bag. Had I not spoken we probably could have made the exchange without saying a word. Remember she is the one that wanted out, and that is how she acts towards me. I find it humorous rather than discouraging. I am to the point that no matter what she does, she will only see happiness and contentment from me. That is not to say that I don't have my down moments, but she will not see those. We are supposed to be the grieving spouse, we have to start with the 180 of not being that.
My bomb was somewhere around 8 months ago and I still get that type of behaivor from someone that was supposed to get happy by leaving. Meanwhile I am choosing to learn and grow from this. It would appear that I am in a better place than the one who choose this. I say appear because I really don't know what is going on in her head. I can only go on her behaivor towards me.
What I am getting at is this is a long journey, leave her alone, and by all means don't talk to people about it. Talk to us, believe in us. And most importantly believe in yourself.
I would also say try not set dates for things like when it may turn around. It is one thing to say you will be able to run 10 miles by March 1st, it is attainable. But to put a date on when you will R is very difficult. It may not happen. I really am a positive person by nature, but even I can admit that I may not get another chance. That being said, if I hadn't found this forum I would still be stuck in the mud, going nowhere.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
