Well thanks for the response..you asked about my issues in the M and what I did wrong and I would have to say it all began when W had first child...she said she went perimenopause and the sex stopped which was about for most of the time she was BF. I didn't know anything thing about this so I did what most men do in this situation get defensive. She had an EA with a guy and at first I would say to her that it bothers me that you don't talk to me about things and I am uncomfortable with this she felt controlled and I felt out of control and then the spiral of me spying on her etc...there were emails everyday and phone calls every day....I know I did not handle this well but there is nothing I can do about it now.
I always wanted W to work....and I am realizing that maybe that is not part of her MO...her boss recently broke her leg and she was complaining to me how she is going to have to work full time for the next 4 weeks! In our M I would always tell her I need to save money for my retirement...which I was finding difficult to do..This was no concern for her because her parents put a large amount of money into her retirement every year and she was careful not to make me the benificiary so that I would not have acess to it in the case of a D....that really bothered me. So needless to say there was a large struggle there--- the other reason I wanted her to work was just for self confidence etc...yes I didn't handle things well but I can't go back only forward now....I have 180 in not spying on W and saying nice things about her M friends when I can or nothing at all...Although D asked me why one of her friends has a very long pinky fingernail...we looked it up and very creepy...
My goals are to get out the next couple of weeks and try to change up my GAL...you are right the gym is kinda isolating and so is cross country skiing....it is great to get in shape but I should be out meeting other people and doing other things. I have just been sitting around waiting for my W to drop the B and that is no way to be for a free man. I told D that I might try out for a play as I did some acting in highschool...she said none of my friends dads do that, I said so all the more to do it. I feel that a lot of my anxiety is around being financially strong so even though I need to get out and GAL I also need to work on my business and get myself so that I am not so nervous about finances and that takes time as well....And that is something I read In a book recently about make yourself a set schedule for your free time. I am more of a planner more so than most and now my plans have come off the track! Thanks 25 for your advice and your hints at how to GAL..i HOPE TO POST more here on what I have done to GAL in the future!
