Completely lost

[job]

Db is actually more for you than your h. It is a tool to help you learn how to navigate life, as well to assist you in interacting not only w/your spouse, but others.

Since your w is completely done w/the marriage (in her mind), I'd leave her alone as much as possible. She needs space and time to figure things out and yes, she needs no distractions in order to focus on her own healing process. For now, she may think that she is done w/the marriage and you have to accept how she feels at this moment. Later on, she may feel differently. However, the depression is what is making her feel this way. It's all part of the process.

What do you do? Go on w/your life as if she may never return. Don't over analyze her every thought or action. Do not believe anything she says because actions speak louder than words. I know you love this woman, but you've got to let her go in order for her to grow up. Have faith in God and in yourself that she may one day wake up and want to return to you.

This is the time to work on you. Do not panic...even if your wife is out on her own, she will contact you when she needs something. When she does, be civil, listen to what she says and validate her. When she does contact you, no discussions about the relationship and do not bring up the word divorce unless you are ready to move forward w/one. In the case of mlc, do not plant seeds in their soggy brains because that is all it takes for them to spin up and go weeds that will just aggravate you in the long run.

Continue to db. If you have changes that need to be made, make them, but also make them a permanent part of your life and not to just win your spouse back. This is a time for you to explore the world as well and learn about yourself.

You have been given the gift of time. Give her the gift of time and space. She needs both of them right now to heal.