not sure where to go from here

[tiredndrained]

I cry all the time. Im starting IC on Monday. I need it. My H does not take any responsibilty for the mess he made of our lives. He always angry w me. My 11S very angry. He constantly acts out and lashes out at me. He was such a calm loving child before. I tried explaining to my H that the kids cant handle him coming and going all the time n they feel abandoned. He doesnt get it n says it all my fault n he hates me. Prior to the OW I cant remember a time when he would speak like that to me. Its as if aliens took over his body. I started reading DR n as of late have completely stopped asking his whereabouts. i also stopped being so available by phone. im trying to distance myself for my own sanity. i would appreciate any advice on how to get thru this w my sanity still intact.