Well, I'll do some journaling...my days have recently started to get longer and not in a fun way. I had been using a carpool to get to work for the past few years but the guy just moved on to another job and I have begun taking the bus. Seemingly not a big deal but this city's public transportation system is terrible and there are no subways. It takes me 3 buses and 2 hours one way. Heading out a 6am is not fun...this is important as it was one of the issues my XW had - me not driving so she had to do all of it, for years. When one has someone else doing it, whatever "it" is, well, it's easy to not "see" it. I never want to "not see" anything again.
Anyway, I am working on it, my road test is coming up soon.
Another cool thing, I have for some time been connected with a scientist/science writer that has her own blog and writes for Psychology Today. She and her husband went through all this, being married, getting divorced, connected with others for a few years, then reconnecting and remarrying each other. She has a blog that writes about all this and she's writing a book. She's asked if I could be an advanced reader prior to publication. Pretty cool. She has really shared her life with me directly and via her blog on PT.
I really don't like the city I live in. It's not my type of city. It's pretty much split into two areas: downtown where it's all rough and the outer limits where all the residential is beautiful and safe and with big, awesome gym's but all residential...there's a small part of downtown that's made for the tourists that's beautiful but people don't really live there. My kind of city is one where there are main streets with deli's and really good bakery's and coffee shops and awesome book stores and beautiful parks. The city I came from was like that. I really changed my life to come down here. Don't get me wrong, like I said, it was an amazing journey with a connection to a person like nothing else AND on top of that I learned that an awesome love and connection is NOT enough! If you don't live your own life to it's fullest it doesn't matter what you have with a partner...
A lot of people say it's all about what you bring to the table. And it is, but it's all about what you bring to your own table first, way before what you put on the relationship table.
These past months have at times been horrible but I also have realized how lucky I am. By taking the bus these past couple days I have seen people that are not well off at all, in any way. They live is really run down areas and are seemingly low income. I don't want to sound stuck up - I'm just saying that we have to realize how lucky we are - it's very easy to overlook so many parts of our lives that are going well. This is just an extension of being aware of your life when in love. Don't take it for granted. Don't just go about your day like nothing has to be done because you already have what you want. It took a lot of work to get what I wanted - I needed to put in at least that amount of work from time to time to ensure things stayed good. I didn't, because I didn't know. I do now. Anyway, I earn a good salary, have great benefits, live in a safe, beautiful area, and can take vacations to L.A. to have a coffee on Sunset Blvd surrounded by the Hollywood hills when I want - I am very lucky.
And when I find love again, whomever that may be with, I will work hard not to forget all I am learning.
