I have been reading these forums on and off for about 2 years. My h told me in 5/08 that he no longer loved me like a wife (married 20 yrs at that point). I was devasted and did everything DB tells you not to do. Printed articles on MLC and depression and begged him to read, only made him more angry. He told me I deserved better and he felt like a failure. He waivered back and forth for three years saying some days he wanted marriage and other days he didn't. He moved into an apartment that is connected to our home in Jan 2011 and after a year of that into a separate home. I have found detaching difficult with both living with and without him. But overall detaching a bit easier not being in same house. Found out a year ago he was having am EA with my best friend. That betrayal helped in detaching, however, I really have to remind myself to stay detached because I often want to ask what they have been doing. I met my husband at age 16, married at 18 and am now 43 (two kids D15 & S13). So he has been all I have known. Like Gatorgirl I find detachment is for me, otherwise I sit and wonder what they are doing and how I miss "us" and what we had. I filed for divorce this past February and it should be final next month. I believe had I found DB sooner, my situation would be better, but I have to believe this was meant to happen. Huge growth experience and something I guess I needed to go through.
