What I'm learning from H stages, disappointment.

[GatorGirl]

DM,
He may not be oblivious to your detaching...he may just not be reacting to it. He's so into himself, his anger, his issues...him even acknowledging anything to do with you would draw the attention away from himself. Get what I mean?

I'm still pretty new to this but I can say for certain that detachment isn't for them. Detachment is for YOU. So YOU can go on, so YOU can grow, so YOU can find what you love (and don't love) about yourself. Take this time to learn about YOU and don't focus so much on him and how he relates to you. That is true detachment. It's hard because we are so used to paying attention to and caring for everyone else and because we want them back so badly. Once we accept that the relationship we used to have will never be had again, but that we can build a new one with our new and better selves and hopefully our healed and renewed spouses, our perspective of the world changes.

Can you find inner peace amongst the turmoil when he's at home? Can that thinner air be found even with him grumbling beside you? THAT is the miracle of detachment, my friend. The road is all uphill but so very worth it.

Peace,
GG