I read this morning a bunch of articles on affairs on the internet and one I read said that when the affair is a complete romantic affair when the couple falls in love, then usually the M is over. That is what my H is in...a complete lala love land..
I don't get this part, honestly. What kind of woman is ok to be with a man who has abandoned his wife and kids to be with her? IMO he has to hit perfect 10 every day with her for the rest of their lives. Otherwise, she will always say to him "What now, you are going to abandon me as well?".
Originally Posted By: Sweetbriar
to stop obsessing with him and OW
I have been asking myself this question a lot. My wife and OM were making plans to get together. He has a wife and a son in Europe. She has me and a D in the US. What was she thinking? That she will be happy to have kids from a man who abandoned his son and crossed the Atlantic to be with her? Or that he will take them to the US and abandon them here? And she will be OK with this...
Sweet, both your H and OW know very well this is not going anywhere. At best they want to enjoy what they have now by deluding each other they have a future. My W mentioned MLC a few times totally out of the blue while her A lasted. Afterwards, she mumbled a few times about how dumb she acted in the past. She never specified that her "dumb" actions are about the affair. We never discussed her affair.
As long as you want your H back, you should never forget that it is a huge humiliation to admit an enormous error of judgement and monstrous acts as those he has committed. You somehow have to have the strength to show him that you have forgiven him, and you want him back and you want to start over... Otherwise he will always be afraid that you will retaliate.
It is an extremely complicated situation. Don't despair, and don't be negative. After all, you have done fantastically well so far, and I fully believe you will do great from now on as well.
