Living in the Gray

[labug]

So we made it to the Grand Canyon after Christmas and it was/is beautiful in the snow. And yes, there was snow-a-plenty!

It turned out to be just S23 and I, as S20 decided not to go. He's still having some problems with the depression that reared it's ugly head at T-giving time so I phoned H to fill him in on the change in plans. I didn't want S to be alone for 4 days right after Christmas.

S23 and I had a great drive up until we got near Flagstaff when it started snowing a bit, the closer we got to Flag, the more it snowed. But the intrepid (maybe stupid) travelers forged ahead. The interstate wasn't too bad but the snow was accumulating and when we exited for the road to the Canyon, it was dicey. Snowing heavily and already about 4-5 inches accumulated off the road and as it got later and colder, it was covering the road surface.

But, we decided to give it a try. By this time we could only travel about 30 mph and the snowfall was increasing and it was getting dark so after about 15-20 miles of this we decided to turn around and find a motel to spend the night.

When we found one, it was dark and as I turned in the snow-covered drive to the parking lot, I noticed a Kia with it's flashers on on a small rise in the driveway. Thinking I could get around it, I kept going but couldn't so backed up and, you guessed it, got stuck. I have AAA so got out of the car to go and get a room and call for help. As I did so the guy who owned the Kia came out and apologized for getting stuck and blocking me. We had a laugh about the situation and he went to his car.

While I was calling for assistance, Kia guy, my son and 2 other guys were able to push the Kia, my car and another that had gotten stuck to safety.

So the car was good and we had a warm, dry place to sleep.

The next morning we got up to some snowfall and partly cloudy skies. We headed for a good breakfast and talked about a plan for the day. We settled on trying to make it to the Canyon but if the weather turned bad or the road was not cleared we would turn around and either spend another night in Williams or head back to Flag and see a movie, go bowling, something.

As is turned out the road was clear the weather cleared and we made the last leg of the trip without a hitch. We had a wonderful time walking, taking pictures, sitting by the fire, eating and being together. We missed S20 but we still had fun.

I tell this long story because the person I am now is so different from 3 years ago. I would have been pi$$ed at the weather and obsessed on the fact that I had to spend an extra amt of cash for a room when I already had a room at the lodge at the Canyon. Really, I would have obsessed for days on the money issue.

I would have probably made some stupid remark to Kia guy about his driving skills and continued to spread my bad mood to anyone I came in contact with. Instead, I greeted him with some humor and he helped us out. We made the best of a bad situation.

I would have been angry, livid that the plans I made weren't going exactly as I had intended. S20 didn't come along, we might not have been able to get to the Canyon, I would have had to spend more money yadda, yadda, yadda.

Instead, and I hate to sound trite, but we turned lemons into lemonade and it took no more than a change in my attitude. That's been a long time in coming but I'm finally getting it. I now realize that I have control of me, not the weather, not other drivers, not my son, just me and I can decide to have a good time or a terrible time.

S23 let me know many times how much he enjoyed the trip, the snow (he's a desert rat), helping push cars out of the snow, the Canyon, the food, even the hours long game of War we played one evening. As we were talking about the adventure one evening I realized that this is a parable on life. I have a plan but sometimes things happen and it's my job to make the best of those hurdles that are placed before me, not to immediately see them as roadblocks and that the Universe is conspiring against me personally.

It's just life and we each have a choice in how we approach it.

And now I know that I have the ability, the strength, the depth of character to create the life I want, not play the victim and rail against what others, or life in general, have done to me.

It is a gift.

And if I can change, anyone can.