CV, there is nothing "pretend" about your life. It is all very real. You, of all people, now that. It is not for me to say otherwise.
What IS pretend, is that you are suggesting that others think you are happily M. Yet... you... personally do not feel you are.
That IS pretend.
In the same way that you tell us that you are showing your son that people who are married, work through things. Yet you are openly here saying you don't want to work on things, and stop doing things when there's a change.
That is pretending to your son.
Or... there is something else going on and we are the ones you are lying to...
Or...
You are lying to yourself...
So I ask, again:
What value are YOU getting by staying in what you are telling us is a very unhappy M?
I will share my thoughts on that:
We... are safe... staying in the M is safe... and you aren't looking for safe... you are avoiding what is more scary than what doesn't feel so good, because what doesn't feel so good is safe and not so scary.
And you tell us that it is because of your son that you stay.
When your son is just the reason you use. Because you are more afraid of looking bad in the eyes of your son.
You are avoiding discussing things which are very obviously pain points, and so live in a world of discomfort, because at least it's safe and familiar.
The circular conversation will continue, as will your sitch, until you face that which you keep avoiding.
