Want / need to add this piece as still bothers me some. [bold]Yup, it's a setback, but not necessarily the straw that breaks the back. [/bold] Had said during the recent "done" convo that she was waiting for something to push her one way or ther other. This pushed her the other way towards "done" again. Just airing the little extra piece of why it is so bothersome.
Tori, I also guess that I'm not as "kindhearted" as I preach. I need to be more responsible in managing my emotions (especially not taking so much pain in and releasing it until there is no more room). Too nice syndrome turning into the Hulk.
Bug, To answer how I was feeling. I can't say for sure as I was intoxicated. I'm not proud to say this either. My best guess is that right at midnight W gave me a short / terse kiss. Maybe in my non logical thinking mind I took that as insecurity , jealousy / lack of appreciation for all that I have done and or put up with. Other than that I really don't know. I was very irresponsible that night and am paying for it. Not so sure what I could have done differently other than simply not have drank that much. Additionally, I clearly need to a healthy preventive release to all this. I'm really seeing why W has been afraid.
Spartan, Reading what I just wrote in regards to Bug's question. Not drinking heavily, if not at all, is my best bet.
Horrible update... One in which DB may not help. W just informed that during the drunken outburst I had that I evidently made threats towards her. She doesn't even feel physically safe around and wants me to move out by the end of the w/e. She also expressed concern about leaving me alone with the kids. Then she shortly thereafter left for zumba.
I tried to reassure her that in my right mind that I'd never hurt her or anyone for that matter. She said she's going to file, and said that she'd use that night against me if she had to.
I called my L shortly after W left for zumba. L says I don't have to move out if I don't want to. It would require various paperwork to get me out of the house. That is one thing, but the other is I don't want her living in fear. I have not challenged her on anything that she said.
Have you ever threatened her before? Good attorney advice.
If you are not a violent guy and have not ever threatened before, just say " I apologize for anything I may have said and I am not a violent person. Once again my apologies for making you feel that way"
Best I can do...she's looking for stuff. This is what I like to call the "ands". Do not be surprised if something else comes up.
Andrew, sorry to hear this. Do you remember what exactly you said? I agree with Ruby on the way to apologize. She can't force you to move out, but if the home environment is so negative (esp for the kids) you might want to move in with your parents for a couple of weeks while things settle down. Continue talking to the L. Don't know what else to say. (((((((((((((Andrew)))))))))))))
No. I have never threatened her before. I might have acted like a big time douche, but never have I before done something so horrendous. I honestly must have blackouted during part of this breakdown as I don't remember all of it. Not an excuse by any means. I choose to drink what I drink. Alcohol is not the excuse I'm using here. The weird part is that she has said that I said / did several things that I probably did not (eg "upset the kids...they were crying"). I went to apologize to them ASAP that morning and each of them individually denied anything. W also said I got us kicked out of the bar , where's FIL told me that he made everyone leave (he knows the owner). Kind of irrelevant points, but hay wondering how much W is adding on to my breakdown. Part of me has to question how fearful she truly is..after all, she is giving me time to move out, she left me alone with the kids so she could exercise? Really? Questioning here, not her of course. One thing for certain is that I hurt her feelings big time. I was in the wrong, no doubt about it. Hence me reiterating q similar apology to what you 2 suggested. As far as moving out, I'm unsure at this moment. I did mention my mom about the even united drastic turn of events (eg may need to stay there for awhile).
"I choose to drink what I drink" was supposed to be past tense.
I did tell her earlier that I am going to stop drinking, she scoffed at it and said "We'll see how long that lasts". ideally it will not be that difficult as I am generally a w/e receational / social drinker.
I don't drink but I know some people can't give it up. You can do it, though, because you really want to do it. The priority now, however, is to deal with your W's requests and get legal advice...
