From Survivng to Thriving & backslides in between.

[AJM]

My dilemma. I want to email back and tell XH that he no longer needs to report these things to me as the girls are much better at telling me everything.

However, I do believe anything can push the MONSTER BUTTON and what I then would expect is him NOT telling me things I should know if it ever arises. He would do that just out of spite, because I told him he doesn't have to report everything to me.

My friend at work says he keeps doing these things because he's trying to converse with me and communicate. My D13 just said the same thing.

Thorn in the side is a good description, I think.

Are you really afraid of the monster button at this point? What can he possibly do at this point to hurt you? I mean, really? I think that should be your last fear, right?

K, since mine remarried, she has been an absolute thorn in my side. She tells me one minute she doesn't want to co-parent, then sends me all kinds of emails regarding my son's school. She wants me to pay for my daughter's school (I'm happy to, but I have a problem talking to her since she can't remember her conversations; no way will I get in a financial agreement with ex). Then she accuses me of having no decency, being narcissistic, and bi-polar. The accusations fly with a purpose, I suppose. She even went so far as to ask me if I was still planning to go on vacation with my son. I confirmed it, then she sent me three more emails asking for information she isn't entitled to. Friendly? Not really. Intrusive and without reason? Absolutely.

Know what I do? I file them away. I stopped responding unless applicable. I've barely said three sentences to her since June of this year. That's for me. I follow the contract to the letter, but that's it. I save those emails in a folder for my attorney. I also pull up information if needed to remind her I already answered questions if they were asked. And then I go about my life.

My suggestion? Let him send them. He'll get tired of it or you'll have so much information about what's going on it'll be ridiculous. Either way, it won't stop most likely. It certainly won't if you respond.

Let it run its course and just file it away, K. It's crazy. It's a pain. I agree. But the more you don't respond the better. It'll eventually go away on its own.

Timely. I have an email from ex, and I actually thought about responding to the accusation. I was torn between that or sending it to my attorney for action. I chose to do neither and just filed it away. I sleep easy, K.

AJ