Spartan, everyone has an opinion about the S. Give yourself whatever time you need to decide.
One comment: you can detach and GAL while being kind and nice at the same time. You said being kind/caring helped, but you're hurt and don't feel like being so nice. I feel the same way...but have continued to behave as though I'm not hurt. I suggest looking at your W as someone who is lost and under a lot of pain--so much pain she has lost all perspective on what matters in life and has even neglected her own children. From a compassionate point of view, being nice/caring might be easier. That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to look at my H as someone who's desperately trying to find meaning in his life but can't find it. Someone who thinks partying/women is the answer. I know he's under a lot of pain even if he does not realize it. So I'm being kind and compassionate--even if I'm hurting so much.
