Spartan, thank you for your feedback. It's good to know how your feelings are similar to mine, and how our mothers had a similar reaction. Divorce/potential for divorce affects so many people.
You said, "No matter what, don't forget that you are worthy of being loved and their are guys out there that will treat you how you should be and need to be treated. Any guy will be lucky to have you." THANK YOU. Sometimes my self esteem takes a plunge. I've wondered whether it would be better to just be alone for the rest of my life, but I do want love in my life. I guess it's a matter of time.
Wendylon, you're always there to offer a hug/words of encouragement. Hugs back to you!!
My H sent me a three word email when the L sent him the new date: "Tori--April 12??" I sent a reply explaining this date matched the L's schedule and my work schedule, but I could ask for an earlier date if he really wanted it. We'll see what he says. At this point, I don't feel like delaying things that much anymore. When you feel someone wants to kick you out of his life so badly, you want to leave his life too. My drive to DB is at its lowest. I will still GAL and do things for myself, but nothing to save the M.
I've also had disturbing thoughts about the woman he "dated" in April of last year. It's like a second affair. I remember how much he was pushing for sex with me with in June-Aug, probably right after she broke up with him. It's disgusting. I'm SO GLAD I didn't give in. I would be having a second round of STD tests now...
Anyway, I will get through this. Thank you for helping me see it.
