finding my way

[littleGTO]

Have been here for a little bit but needed to start over. I will try to post to individual threads so you will remember me.

Quick background-- H dropped bomb about 6 months ago that he is "in love" w OW. EA so far, but who knows for how much longer. H moved out 2 months ago & seems to be more involved w kids when he's here than prior to his leaving. He has made NO movement back to M at all. Yet he has never yet said he wants a D.

Have been DBing for a while. H has noticed my 180s, but hasn't seemed to change his direction. His M passed away this summer & her illness had a major impact in his current MLC or whatever it is that he is going through.

I am managing day by day. Some better than others. Kids are getting used to new normal but have difficult moments. Am worried about each of them for different reascons.

DOn't know what the new year will hold for me/kids, but am less optomistic than I used to be. Feel like H is slipping awaw from me, going toward OW, toward a new life.

So, want to save our marriage. Love my H, but he is a different person now & this person is not someone I want to be with. Wish he could see the light.

We did NOT have a bad M, in fact this was a total shock to me. In retrospect I realize that some things he told me over time were impacting his happiness far more than I ever imagined.

180s: 1) Don't sweat the small stuff, 2) Verbally appreciate things he's done/things I notice, 3) Compliment him more, 4) Respect his opinions esp when it comes to decisions about kids, 5) Really listen w/o judgement.

GAL's-- Some nights out w GFs (married GFs); and my kids' activities or new things I do solo w my kids.

Detaching--I absolutely stink at this!

Try hard to live by Sandi's 37 Rules.

Some of you will recognize my sitch, so I hope to see you here!