Thanks busto,

I had an opportunity to talk with S14 yesterday.

Stbx called and asked to speak to him. Wanted to take him out to go to dog park.

S14 had to explain that it was 41 degrees C today and not a good idea. Stbx then suggested his only other option: visit grandparents.

S14 didn't want to go with him.
D16 is visiting friends and S14 doesn't like to be out with his dad without her being there too.

Stbx took S14's refusal badly - not angry with him, just crushed.

I'll keep working on talking to both of them.

I've put the idea of a scheduled day for them to see stbx, but they were very resistant. At their age, and with constant contact with friends, they do everything at the last minute and don't want to be locked into stuff with parents.

Also, they resent the idea of being 'made' to go with stbx. They are hyper-sensitive about being 'told' to do ANYTHING.