I am having a hard time balancing between "lovingly detached" and just being stand offish or cold.
When you interact with someone can you tell whether they're being "standoffish or cold"?
Can you tell whether they're curious/concerned for your wellbeing, but that they have somewhere they have to be? That now just isn't the time?
I think this is the "balance" that you are trying to strike and there is a difference.
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
I just fear that if I don't show kindness or interest, just right, She will interpret is as chasing and pull away even farther.
A great antidote to this is you being the one to cheerfully end any interactions you may have, because you have things to do, people to see etc.
Let her be the one to initiate any interactions with you.
Do not initiate any interactions with her unless it is a genuine emergency.
When she initiates an interaction with you she is giving you the opportunity to show kindness, curiosity and concern for her wellbeing and then, most importantly, to cheerfully conclude the interaction with an "I've got to crack on now, W. Take care/be well/be safe".
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
I need help with this.
I hope this has helped.
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
