I'm devastated - is this really it? Should I just walk away now?
No.
Your W wants out of the marriage (or is saying she is). BTW, she may be confused, appear lost, emotional one minute and seemingly resolute the next. It is all perfectly "normal" for walkaway wives.
However, if she is the one who wants out, she should be the one to leave.
When she brings it up again (you must not be the one to bring it up), say to her calmly, gently and with equanimity [i]"W, I'm very sad that you no longer want us to be married however, I understand that my choices have led you to feel this way. I regret it very much. If you no longer want our marriage, you must be the one to move out of our family home. This episode, whilst devastating, has induced me to take a long and overdue look at my life". Then you be the one to end the conversation, leave the room and resume whatever it was that you were doing beforehand.
My heart really does go out to you.
No one sat us down when we got married and told us what we men need to do and be in order to be outstanding husbands.
You can learn here.
Hang in there brother.
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
