Started DB late - have I destroyed all chances?

[FullOfHope]

Thank you both for your quick responses! I have done some reading on MLC and know that I have much more to learn. I will be visiting all the links and learning, learning.

I sometimes wondered about MLC b/c he doesn't fit some of the "typical" behaviors. He's actually become very protective of the spending and so uptight that he has excluded me from all talks/decisions about our budget, etc. I realize this is one place he feels the need for control. We have a lot of debt and he has been depressed about that for a while so his goal has been to cut back on everything and start reducing our debt.

When I read the snippets from "Happy_Again" someone re-posted I saw my H so clearly. The talk about being a paycheck only. Wanting space and being so mad at his wife. Being so hateful in his talk to her and her calmness in handling it. Feeling trapped in a life he didn't choose, etc.

I don't believe now that H ever had a PA. Definitely an EA, and there are things that seem a little strange, but I can't match them up just yet. I'm pretty sure that if there ever had been, there isn't now. He was home for 9 days over the last couple of weeks and went nowhere without one of the kids. I know it's not proof, but I just don't think there is anyone else right now.

I have been going out regularly and I'm getting ready to start teaching a class to homeschooled kids in Feb. I feel good about doing things I haven't done before and I see H noticing. I'm relieved at finding some answers, but knowing this could go on an indefinite amount of time is so very discouraging.

Oh, and of course, today he called from work to discuss the CC bill and wanted to account for all of the recent charges over the holidays so he could categorize them. He started talking about all the things he wanted to get done here at the house. Ya know...clean out/organize the garage, replace the water heater, build a deck. WHAT? Pure crazy I say!

Thanks again for your responses. I will be doing much reading in the next couple of days.