it's not such a cut and dry thing- this business of issueing ultimatums and deciding what one wants - and "that's that".
i wish i was more like that- for me, it's a gut thing-and then there's allllll the "stuff" going on in life. my bottom line- which keeps in where i am dbing - even when i'm not particularly happy in it- or with h's attitude or lack of desire to do a darn thing other than cruse thru life entertaining himself.
i end up asking myself if
1) i'm truly ready to go it alone if he says drop dead? (i've answered not really - so far- so don't go there)
2) do i view total ALONE as better than what i have now- however unsatisfactory it all is?
3) i think about mwd saying it's the hardest thing we'll ever do- and no matter how long it goes on- it feels alot longer-
4) bottom line is tho- am i ready (really ready and no regrets) to walk if i don't get the answer i'd like?
the friend with the 3-time married attorney who said think long and hard about what exactly you're "running to" when you give up on or leave what you have (however wierd it might be).
i can see how all the things mwd says apply- i don't ever like it- it's hard and it hurts and it [censored] and it's not at all fair. i guess as long as my brain can intellectually agree with her precepts- and my body can refrain from blowing a gut or just screaming out my fare-thee-well speech- i'll continue.
don't be too hard on yourself- it's a personal limitatins thing.
