Almost Over...

[Dewayne]

I can only do so much right now. She takes her everywhere for her dentist appointments etc, doesn't want me to go. So I can't be there for her. She's always with Jerry so I assume that's why mainly, but then again, why couldn't she ask me to take them?

I just need practice in the DB methods and such. I am just now getting to wehre I can think somewhat clearly. Without being so burdened with the pain and hurt. This hit me a WHOLE lot harder than I expected. I still get emotional, but don't break down near as much.

My stbx's SIL has been taking the D to daycare in the mornings. She's been having rides to get her. Sometimes she's at work and has to have her friends or family pick up the daughter. I'm not ok with some of them but she won't stop having them doing it. I don't have the money / gas to run around so much, so most of it I can't do.

Daughter seems ok mostly, but I can tell she's not happy over there. She's always missing me and wanting me. However, with 2 bachelors here I can't keep her for a week at a time because she gets out and this house has thin walls. Wakes them up They both work diff. shifts and sleep all kinds of hours.

My life goals are to get a job and get my truck paid off. Get out and do more things again. I'd like to get back into billiards (shooting pool) and all that, but I have very few friends that like to "go out"

We were always home people. Did almost everything with ourselves and we were very happy. But I should've tried harder to get us some kind of friend circle going on. So yeah, i'm thinking of my life goals but working on job first. Then hopefully can afford my own place or at least find someone to move in with me so I can see my kiddo for a week at a time like I want.

My mom keeps saying "take jordan as much as you can and help STBX out as much as you can. This will show her you're trying" I keep telling her "MOM! She doesn't CARE if I am improved or not! And, it's not like I'm CHOOSING to not have my child! As far as helping her? why should I?" I was told that she chose to leave me. So she can have that. She needs help? Let her find her own way. But I'm torn when it comes to that part.