Tough question for sure. I guess I would say look at it from a DB'ing perspective, and think about the cheeseless tunnels. Look at what you've been doing and ask yourself if it's been working, and if not then try something else. Remember that DB'ing often doesn't feel right at all, it often seems counterintuitive. So don't concern yourself too much about how it feels.
I went back and read some of my earlier posts and when I was being nice and showing her I cared I thought then things were getting better. I know we were talking more, spending more time together, and she was snuggling up against me at night. She was also just starting to initiate small talk and sending me tests throughout the day. Not sure if I was right or if it was just in my head but maybe I should force myself to continue with that approach for a little while longer. I know I was feeling better then but getting over how she treated kids will be a tough one. It sure feels counter-intuitive to how I'm feeling this minute. If no improvement I can always start going dim full time and see if that works.
Originally Posted By: Breakdown
at one point, I decided that my W and I were no longer H and W...we were simply friends that were co-parenting. This took a huge amount of stress off my shoulders....every interaction was different, better, easier. The pressure subsided.
This is kind of what I'm thinking about trying to do. It's also more inline with my goals I set out at the beginning of this thread. I never mentioned separating or going dim a couple weeks ago. Need to stay the course no matter how I'm feeling this very minute.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
I follow Michele's advice very strictly on this, and that is that you should go ahead and make plans to go with the kids and then tell W she's welcome to join if she wants. In other words, make it clear that you're going with or without her, but if she wants to go along then you don't object.
Seems like good advice, and again not something that is natural so a good 180. Old me would have just cancelled thought of going to game since didn't like potential to not go as a family. Instead I sent W a text a minute ago telling her I was taking kids and invited her to go if she wanted. We'll see what she replies with.
With my current mindset I think it's time to crack DR open again and give it another read.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
