I guess I need to be a little more detached :-/ I feel like I am making big gains in detaching and controlling my emotions, but I have a long way to go. I am struggling a little with my 180's, basically just being more upbeat and willing to engage her without being critical. I am GAL, which is helping as well. It is getting a little easier every day. I am able to stop and think before I react, which I couldn't have even thought about doing only a few short weeks ago.
I am not so sure that I was mind reading. I mean she pretty much came right out and said that it bothered her that her friends and family were sharing time with me, jealousy possible? I don't know, but I am pretty sure that was the issue or why would she bring it up like that? The only thing that "I felt" I could have improved on was how I offered her the option of going with us. In retrospect, it did sound like I was backtracking, and I definitely didn't need to reiterate it again. Of course, I am no pro. I still need to improve my DB skills dramatically. I am slowly getting there with the help from all of you
This brings up a new question. My wife in particular is NOT a pursuer. She definitely waits to be pursued, always been like that, probably always will. Granted, she probably has a line of men a mile long just waiting for the opportunity. She is a very beautiful woman, and guys are going to flock to her. She has no need to pursue what she wants. I am worried that if I don't detach in just the right way, she will easily lose any interest and wander away with someone else who can show her affection and admiration, which unfortunately I can't do while being emotionally detached. With that being said, what are some "non-pursuing" ways of showing her that I have changed, which by the way I am definitely doing? I know I don't want to call her, can't ask her out, can't dote or chase after her. But, what can I do when we are communicating that will possibly strike some interest in her? I'm kind of at a loss regarding that. I understand she needs to miss me and deal with her inner-struggle before there is any chance, but how will I be able to engage her in a way that will peak some interest or possibly keep her wondering about coming back to the M? What words or actions will the WAW wife be attracted to, that won't push them away? It seems that if I do nothing, nothing will ever happen. I am having a hard time balancing between "lovingly detached" and just being stand offish or cold. I just fear that if I don't show kindness or interest, just right, She will interpret is as chasing and pull away even farther. I need help with this.
Thanks again, I don't know what I would do without the support.
