Stop The D

[labug]

Yeah that made more sense in my head then what I wrote. Basically what I meant is maybe it was time for a S to allow me and the kids our own time when I have them. Obviously not seeing them some days would kill me and I'm guessing wouldn't be that great for them either. I'm just really struggling right now being in the house with her. She's just so cold and distant that it's affecting everyone. It's a happy upbeat atmosphere when she's not there. I try not to let it affect me much, especially in front of kids, but I know they sense it. W doesn't interact with us the same way as she used to and it's tough putting on a good face all the time no matter how hard I try. I know it's best to stay in house and will likely be what I do but it will be tough. I've tried to kid myself the last several weeks about our 'good family times' but when I look back I'm not so sure W was really enjoying it. I know that's me mind reading but I saw her body language, even when I was pretending things were going better. I feel I've enjoyed the times with just the kids more then when W is with us, which is really sad for me to write or think.

So this is all the opposite of being detached because what she's doing or not doing is affecting your emotions. I'm not faulting you because becoming detached takes time and work. Keep at it, but don't fool yourself into thinking anger, or hurt or loneliness are detachment. It's worth if for both you and the kids to strive for this.

I don't know if you should move or not move (but I would say if she's the one who wants out let her go. That's her dream, not yours) but I think making a decision now, just after the holidays is not in your best interests. Live your life, nothing has to be decided today or next week even. See what happens but don't let your discomfort with your emotions push you to do something you may regret.