X demands full custody because I'm engaged, Part 2

[sleeper]

2 x 4 accepted (and internalized)

I'm on my phone so unable to reply fully but I will say this; I wanted DD to realize how much she and DS mean to me (more than ANYTHING) and that was the reason I made reference to her remark about X getting all assets in the D. It was a question she has asked several times over the years but to which I never really responded until a couple of days ago. I think she understands now, that she and her brother are all that matters to me. At least there has been a definate change in her attitude.

I don't speak badly of X or OMH to the children.

Yes, I made emotional choices and instructed L, on more than one occasion, my goal in the D was "damage control." (lots of possible interpretations there).

X and I both "got what we wanted." In truth, I think NOW we both have some level of "buyers remorse" as you opined. When your spouse is only interested in partying/traveling and willing to leave your young children with ANYONE to do so it's a normal parental response to want them with you as much as possible. Especially when it was a friend of hers that raped your 35 mo old daughter while babysitting (following parole hearing last summer he has 13 years more to serve if he's not paroled).

Hindsight is always 20/20.

My lawyer? She was young. X's lawyer? He was mature and experienced. The judge? She was somewhere in the middle and clueless.

I really don't hold them accountable for the outcome.

The only L for which I have any annimosity is the pedophile rapist's who pleaded with the judge, "Your honor, but no one has been hurt!"

It is what it is.