Rinse

[hopefulinga]

I'm glad to see that you are texting and emailing. Even though he says he is done, he is still willing to talk about what went wrong. If he truly didn't care, he wouldn't carry on the conversation.

It is hard to let them see that life is super great without them, especially when maybe it isn't quite that great. However, showing him a happier, carefree you will help.

I also wouldn't beat myself up too much about him saying more sex and a clean house would have kept him. Early on, I worked feverishly to do some major changes in areas that I knew bugged H, and house keeping is one of them. I hired some people to clean every other week. Is the house neat? Not exactly. But the fact that I got the cleaners in has made a huge difference. And you know by my sitch that it didn't help much. But once again, that is focusing blame on you.

His reply is that he wasn't looking to replace me, that he just wanted to go out and drink and be mad, be a bastard, screw everything and anyone and just hit the bottom. That he wanted out.

This says that even with fixing the two things above, he probably would have left. That's a pretty low mind set for him to be in. A little scary. I wouldn't want my H coming back around after that. Sounds like he wants to be a college boy again.