Someone told me a while back "don't give your W lemons...life will give her plenty." I think that's really important, so I wouldn't be considering moving out to make her "get it."
Regarding detaching from your W, I'm not sure you have. On one hand you say you have no feelings for her but on the other you're really concerned about not talking to her, not doing things for her, etc. I think the goal should be to just be you. When you are home with the kids, being yourself, enjoying your family...and then W comes home....I challenge you to continue to BE YOU. Don't let her attitude, her comments, her coldness, or whatever impact the fun you are having. You control you.
With regards to doing stuff for her, I think you have to do what you would do if she was just a friend. If you are thinking you're getting something in return, you are just setting yourself up to be resentful.
