How do I balance GAL and detaching with being available? I know one of my wife's primary complaints with me in the marriage has been my depression, emotional unavailability and distance. This is where I get really insecure about divorce busting because I want her to see that I'm engaged and making necessary changes, but of course I don't want to come off needy or desperate...
First, are you on med's for the depression? If that's her primary complaint then do something about it! Second, DB'ing is about doing the opposite of what you did before. You were emotionally unavailable? Then be emotionally available. You were depressed? Then go to the doc and get it resolved. You distanced yourself? Then close the gap. You can do these things without pursuing her although it's a fine line. Read the 5 Love Languages, it'll give you some tools to help in this. You can show love in ways that aren't going to hamper your DB efforts.
