Hi Bruce, you can't "make her" anything. Do anything, think anything, feel anything. You only only only control you.

And with few exceptions, everyone here was also told very clearly that their spouse was not interested. That is script.

You have been given a chance to learn and grow, and time to do it. Before the divorce is final, or after, take this chance and grow. Do it for you and for your son. Not for her and not to get her back. Tactics backfire. Sincere change and growth, consistent over time, and for the right reasons, will win in the end. You just don't know yet what winning really looks like, you still think it's getting your marriage back.

Happy new year and all the best,
adinva

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.