Good on you with the tension free day, nice change of pace huh! I think commiting to the EE will be one of the best things you can do.
Seems to me you want to stand up for yourself but in your head you might be going "how can I stand up for myself W/O her leaving me?" ?
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
So yes. How do I set boundaries, stand up for myself, without her hitting pavement.
I'm going to be honest. I don't even like having to goto EE on a weekend. I don't even know how to break the news to my W about workshop. I know I probably need this badly but I have fears about it.
So yes. How do I set boundaries, stand up for myself
and less about
Quote:
without her hitting pavement.
Boundaries should be set regardless of the other persons reaction to them. They are after all YOUR boundaries. I know you don't want to flip her out, I've had the same thoughts, but their reactions are not for us to control.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
No better feeling then lacing up the skates and skating with your S on your backyard rink. Plus for the 1 1/2 hours we skated I didn't think of anything but not letting my 6 year old out skate me
25 can you talk a little bit more about EE? Seems a little odd or intimidating when you start getting into. Grads open up house to stay at for out of towners. Is this associated with any religious group . The workshop hours are long which is good but intimidating. I've paid my deposit but still have extreme inertia about it. Especially explaining where I'm going to my W, which I know is pathetic but it is how I'm feeling
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Ad it's very hard to explain. I feel frozen or paralyzed as 25 describes.
I'm even struggling on what to say to my W about the workshop. I think I would tell her its a workshop on "effective communication, stress, anxiety etc"
It is an odd schedule as far as what I am use to in the workplace. I'm use of taking classes M-F. Not Thursday-Sunday.
I really don't even know what I'm afraid of. Again I'm writing how I feel and currently I feel "guilt". Don't ask me why because I don't know. Its the feeling I have
You're doing something to better yourself, you should be proud of that. It's a good thing, no matter what any one else says. If your W gets upset over it then that's on her, not you.
We are born with fears that helps us survive. Unfortunantly we also have fears that keeps us from living, and if you can recognize that this fear won't hurt you, it will help you work through it.
Besides, you're scared b/c your doing something different. And isn't that what you should do? Doing something different that MIGHT help, instead of doing the same(that doesn't)?
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
I just realized my church hosts alanon meetings every Thursday. Does anyone know how these work? It says it's a twelve step process but can you attend the meetings at anytime in the process. This is something that I always was interested in growing up with an alcoholic abusive Dad.
